Wednesday, June 30, 2010


they already made it...


Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Now I truly understand why they say that " heaven is beneath the mother's feet ". I feel like grabbing my mum's size 5 1/2 feet right now but sadly she's probably busy shopping for jades in Hong Kong or I wishfully hope that she is eyeing a NINEWEST handbag instead for her miserable daughter who is left over here struggling her ass off trying extremely hard to comprehend the subject labor.

Now I know why a mum could actually cry when her child grow up a successful bastard. Giving birth is ain’t that easy. Swallow my words, it is in fact bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody painful.

Last time mothers die giving birth you know? The maternal mortality rate of JUST giving birth was at least 30%.

You were made all messy, you were born all messy from the vagina OKAY as in the small little tiny weenie hole and not to forget the most awful horrible smell furthermore the mother had to be in the most embarrassing position and then you think you want to rule the world? Think again then.

Now I understand why there is such verse saying that we couldn’t even say ‘uhh’ to our dear mothers.

Till the time we get to be in that position to experience ourselves. I wish those jerks had to go through this horrifying process of JUST giving birth. Would it actually un-jerk them?

Today I witnessed a mother who went through the labor WITHOUT pethidine (painkiller), she was crying like mad and exhausted like hell. The baby had difficulty coming out from the down under. The nurses actually asked both the husband and wife to feel for the baby’s hair just to motivate the mother so that she won’t stop trying. I detected the ‘turtle’s sign’ where the head is playing ‘cak-cak’ but it just wouldn’t come out. Then we were halau-ed by the nurses as they were having some complications, later I know the baby eventually came out with a caput head and were sent to the NICU.

Yesterday, a patient of mine a very nice counselor who came in with the signs of labor i.e she has had painful and regular contractions and also show. She is a G3P2+1, she had a history of an incomplete miscarriage, a previous scar of a lower segment caesarean section due to a breech presentation, and a successful vaginal delivery with complications of multiple vaginal tears and post partum hemorrhage. It is scary enough JUST trying to absorb the information. And that haunted her, she said she was so traumatized that she didn’t want to go through it again but all she knew she came again to the same so-called elite hospital (I very much hate this place) with a fat 9 months belly. The husband was so anxious as the wife is struggling in so much pain that he kept looking at my lecturer, why? Because the doctors there couldn’t be bothered at all to explain to him that they couldn’t give her the painkiller because she is already 6 cm dilated as the medication could make her drowsy thus she will not have the power to push later so he thought they refused to give the meds probably because it is expensive since it is a government's hospital. All is needed here is an explanation, a 30 seconds worth of explanation. As simple as that. Only after my lecturer had the ‘courtesy’ to explain then only the husband remained calm. I assisted the midwife during the suturing process, I could see the tears around the birth canal because the patient has an extremely fragile skin. I stood there and talked to the patient just to alleviate her anxiety. And by JUST talking actually helps A LOT.

Medicine is ain’t JUST about holding the scalpels or forceps; it is about dealing with human beings NOT a disease but souls just like YOU and ME, souls with hearts.

credits to everyday husna

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Wounded Healer

Assalammualaikum everyone. It has been a couple of months since the last update on this blog. Hope that everyone are at the best of health and life. Just stumbled upon this nice article. Hope everyone will enjoy it.

The Wounded Healer by Brooks Brodrick (The Differential)

In Greek myth, Chiron was the wisest of centaurs and had been taught medicine by Apollo and Artemis. He was wounded by an arrow from Hercules’ bow but since he was immortal he was left to suffer excruciating pain for the rest of his life. Chiron became known as a legendary healer in ancient Greece. He fostered the orphaned Esculapius and taught him everything he knew about the healing arts. Esculapius become one of the two founding fathers of western medicine. In 1961, Carl Jung based his archetype of the wounded healer on Chiron. Jung said, “The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals.”

Who is the wounded healer? It is a person who has gone through suffering and as a result of that process has become a source of great wisdom, healing power and inspiration for others. The wounded healer actually undergoes a transformation as a result of his suffering, which ultimately leads him along a path of service.

Do I fancy myself a wounded healer? Far from it. Wounded – yes. Healer – No. Some believe medicine is a science and healing is an art. I believe a good physician is a delicate balance of the two: a well educated scientist and an empathetic healer. I am not saying all physicians have to be wounded but I do believe our own struggles and periods of personal suffering are what define our character and thus make us better physicians.

My most memorable period of suffering began as a first year medical student, but it wasn’t until second year that it really became evident something was drastically wrong. I distinctly remember reading about GI for a problem set when I turned the page and inadvertently read about anorexia nervosa. It was then that I realized I met the criteria. Yes, there had been worried comments by friends and concerned looks by relatives at a family reunion, but I managed to quickly brush them off. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the 30 pounds that I had shed over the course of the year left me a fragile skeleton of my former self.

My road to recovery was anything but direct. Even in a college town and working at a nationally renowned hospital, it was hard to find trained eating disorder specialists. And there is the issue that admitting to being anorexic is one thing, but putting in the hard work and effort it takes to recover is another thing. For me it was largely a matter of control, I sought to control food in what seemed like an out of control world. I took a year and half off, gained back the necessary weight, and successfully completed second year with the help of a therapist, nutritionist, and PCP. However, I quickly lost the weight again when no one was monitoring me, and I was catapulted into a two-year battle with anorexia that resulted in two inpatient treatments for a total of 100 days and a 3-day hospital stay for a feeding tube.

Over two years later, I can confidently say anorexia has been the hardest beast I have ever faced, and recovery has transformed me into what I hope one day will be a knowledgeable healer. As I complete my PhD and enter back into 3rd year rotations, I am left to contemplate what I want to specialize in. I am inclined to say Child and Adolescent Psychiatry because Psychiatry has had the most profound influence on my life. I can think of nothing more rewarding than giving back to another suffering soul the pleasure of life that I have since rediscovered.

May Allah bless everyone. InsyaAllah we will try our best to make this camp a good turning point for us and and everyone. Do pray that this camp will be going on as we had planned. Last but not least, enjoy your holiday. Wassalam.

MIFC 2010.